Pssst… has been wondering why the Kloostersaal has been so packed lately. Recently, Pssst… realized that it’s likely because Boekenhout has decided to become the new Mopanie and buy all the junk food they can carry. Seriously, Ysters, Pssst… isn’t a pretty sight when Pssst… is hangry, so stop clogging up the queues (and your arteries) and buying all the fresh chips. Perhaps Boekenhout’s newly-forming potbellies were the reason why Magrietjie’s semi-week event with the Ysters was more of a semi-weak event?

Still on the subject of queues, Pssst… is appalled at the Katjiepiering semis and their queue-jumping ways. Just because you’re the only girls at TuksMonate, doesn’t mean that you can skip a line of 30 people to get your dinner. Even Pssst… knows that gender equality doesn’t work that way. No wonder Olympus ditched the rude Katte on Valentine’s Day and decided to carry on their Valentine’s tradition with Curlitzia instead. Can Pssst… get you some ointment for that burn, Katjie?

How do you know that someone does CrossFit? They tell you. How do you know that someone is from Olienhout? They tell you. Pssst… has had more than enough of the Houte and their constant bragging about their (non-existent) fitness levels. Pssst… gets it, Houte, you have confidence issues.

Pssst… would love to know why Sonop has been so quiet lately? Has the strain of being old men finally gotten to you? Judging by how things are going at Kollege, they might have something that can help you with that.

Pssst… is getting tired of the slow flow of res news, and Pssst… is asking nicely for your gossip donations during this difficult time, which you can send to pssst@perdeby.co.za.

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